Holding Nothing Back

So often I forget that I am chosen to do God's good works. I'm pretty sure I don't do them to His standards, and fail every time. That's the good part. More often than not, I go against His will and totally fail him. Yet he has always picked me up and set me back to stand for him. His love is amazing! So Amazing.

Even though I believe his love, I teach his love, I share his love... I often forget his love. Growing up, I don't remember being taught about his amazing love; that doesn't mean I wasn't taught, I just don't remember it. I remember being taught the "plan of salvation" and that baptism would get me to Heaven. Wow... legalistic much!?

Sometimes I feel held back by traditions and 'the law of man.' I don't oppose traditions, though. Every Christmas Eve my family gathers in the living room and eats finger foods on a small coffee table. My parents, brother and I began doing that when I was young and it just stayed. The silly thing is, after every traditionalized meal in there, we complain about our backs hurting... sitting so low to the ground on the floor. Why not just move to the dining room? It makes more sense.

There are ways I conduct / lead our youth gatherings that seem so traditional to me. And I'm beginning to get worried. Whereas Christmas Eve supper at the coffee table may be a tradition worth holding on to, we have students that are willing to leave their teachings and "traditions" for churches that are more appealing... and I can't change many of the methods I teach with because of the traditions that are placed on this ministry from the church.

{side note: I'm not against any methods or traditions we have. I'm just eagerly seeking out innovative ways to encourage participation}

I must learn to use the resources I have and just stay with him in prayer.

Coming to this realization has been helpful: I can't let problems with religion hinder my spiritual life and growth. Spirituality is one aspect of our human nature (such as the desire to connect with our Creator) whereas religion is a group of beliefs and practices (like a “how-to” guide meant to help people express their spirituality and draw closer to their Creator.) Whether I feel like I have shackles on while leading a worship service or am being watched and monitored during a Bible class; as far as me and my journey with God, I am alive to live for him!

And God help you if you get in between me and my Savior.

"Holding Nothing Back" by Tim Hughes really speaks to me when Satan causes me to doubt my purpose. (plus I love the music)

I am chosen, I am free
I am Living for eternity
Free now forever
You picked me up, turned me around
You set my feet on solid ground
Yours now forever

You washed my sin and shame away
The slate is clean: a brand new day,
Free now forever
Now boldly I approach your throne
To claim this crown through Christ my own
Yours now forever

And nothing's gonna hold me back
Nothing's gonna hold me back
Nothing's gonna hold me back

My chains fell off
My heart was free
I'm alive to live for you
I'm alive to live for you
Amazing Love, how can it be?
You give everything for me
You give everything for me
Everything

I am free to live
Free to give
Free to be
I'm free to love you

my prayer: to daily live for you!

My past years' learning repertoire

Good grief, I haven't web logged my thoughts in exactly one year. My juggling act in ministry has changed drastically in this past year yet I still feel as if I'm at the end of the learning curve. I just completed my third year in full-time youth ministry so why am I just now learning specifics of the job!? Yes, it feels so often that in ministry I have no clue what's going on. Just as soon as I feel connected to the kids, one will go off and do something so incredibly stupid that... oh wait, sounds just like me! I guess we're all the same really. I'm a sinner, saved by grace.

But this journey continues to be a learning experience. Thus, here is my one year learning... repertoire, if you will:

1. I've learned to make my own decisions. No more stale programs or useless events; but a newness that is bringing our kids closer to Christ.

2. I've learned to say no. Oh dear word 'no' where have you been all my life.

3. I've learned to keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your fellow youth ministers closest. I don't believe I could survive without the compassion and support of these guys.

4. I've learned that my God and the church are not one in the same. I believe that God is and always will be first in my life. Church life, however, will not take that number one spot. I've seen too many people place ministry work before their families; thus resulting in broken relationships. A healthy compromise seems to be necessary.

5. I've learned that I don't have to see immediate results. The power of Christ is at work in every teenager at Parkview, no doubt in my mind.

6. I've learned that old farts will be old farts. Many people are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few people seem to be in pursuit of the goal.

7. I've learned I can't change you, no matter how hard I try. It's God doing.

8. I've learned a daily calendar is of the utmost importance in this field.

9. I've learned to trust cautiously but love unconditionally. - I usually love cautiously, which makes me wonder if that is true ἀγάπη (agape).

10. I've learned that I don't have to look or appear intelligent with big words or deep theological discussions. If I can share my and Jesus' story with someone which leads them to Gods arms, his will is being done.

Why didn't I know these things prior to now? Maybe I did, but refused to listen; or was too caught up in playing a role rather than living the prayer.

Our Father in Heaven, hallowed is your name,
Your Kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven
Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.